GIANTS IN THE EARTH -- FAFHRD and GRAY MOUSER

FAFHRD
medium humanoid (human), neutral good
ranger (hunter) 10th level, bard (college of valor) 5th level; background: guide

AC: 16; HP: 165 (10D10+5d8+80); Initiative: +4; Senses: passive Perception 23; Speed: 40 ft., climb 40 ft., swim 40 ft.

STR: 18, DEX: 18, CON: 19, INT: 17, WIS: 16, CHA: 17

Saves: STR +9, DEX +9; Skills: Athletics +14, Insight +8, Nature +8, Performance +8, Perception +13, Sleight of Hand +14, Stealth +14, Survival +13; Feats: Crusher, Lucky, Magic Initiate (Druid), Skilled, Tough, Unarmed Fighting; Tool Proficiency: Baliset, Cartographer's Tools; Weapon Proficiency: Simple, Martial; Armor Proficiency: Medium, Shield; Languages: Common, Druidic, Northern Speech, Sign, Thieves' Cant; CR: 4 (1,100 XP); PB: +5

TRAITS
Combat Inspiration: An ally who has one of your Bardic Inspiration dice can use it to activate either the offense or defense option listed in the PHB under this ability.
Decrease Exhaustion: Whenever you complete a Short Rest, your Exhaustion level, if any, decreases by 1.
Defensive Tactics: Whenever you complete a short rest, you may select from one of the following features: Escape the Horde or Multiattack Defense.
Font of Inspiration: Regain all expended uses of Bardic Inspiration when you finish a Short Rest. Additionally, you can expend a spell slot (no action required) to regain one expended use of it.
Hunter's Lore: While a creature is marked by your hunter's mark, you know whether that creature has any immunities, resistances or vulnerabilities, and if the creature has any, you know what they are.
Hunter's Prey: Whenever you complete a short rest, you may select from one of the following features: Colossus Slayer or Horde Breaker.
Jack of All Trades: You can add half your PB (round down) to any ability check that uses a skill proficiency that you lack.
Resourceful: You gain Heroic Inspiration whenever you finish a Long Rest.

ACTION
Multiattack: You can make up to two melee attacks using your longsword (Graywand) and poignard (Heartseeker).
Longsword (Graywand): melee weapon attack (+10 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D8+5 slashing damage PLUS target has disadvantage on their next attack before the start of your next turn)
Poignard (Heartseeker): melee weapon attack (+10 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D6+5 piercing damage PLUS you have advantage on your next attack against target until the end of your next turn)
Unarmed Strike: melee natural weapon attack (+9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D6+4 OR D8+4 bludgeoning damage; D4+4 bludgeoning damage only when grappled)
Temporary HP (3 times/Long Rest): Add D8+3 temporary HP to your maximum.

BONUS ACTION
Bardic Inspiration (3/Long Rest): Bestow Bardic Inspiration D8 to your ally.
Favored Enemy (4/Long Rest): You can cast hunter's mark without using a spell slot.

SPELLCASTING
Attribute: WIS or CHA; Spell DC: 16; Spell Attack: +8; Prepared Spells: 18
Always Prepared (1/Long Rest): longstrider
Cantrips: druidcraft, friends, light, message, prestidigitation, resistance, shillelagh
1st Level (4 slots): comprehend languages, detect magic, detect poison and disease, feather fall, goodberry, hunter's mark, longstrider
2nd Level (3 slots): calm emotions, darkvision, pass without trace, protect from poison
3rd Level (3 slots): dispel magic, nondetection, sending
4th Level (3 slots): dominate beast, freedom of movement, locate creature
5th Level (2 slots): commune with nature, greater restoration

GRAY MOUSER
medium humanoid (human), neutral
rogue (arcane trickster) 15th level, background: wayfarer

AC: 18 (mage armor); HP: 150 (15D8+75); Initiative: +5; Senses: passive Perception 13; Speed: 30 ft.

STR: 16, DEX: 20, CON: 17, INT: 18, WIS: 16, CHA: 18

Saves: DEX +10, INT +9, WIS +8, CHA +9; Skills: Acrobatics +10, Arcana +9, Deception +9, Insight +8, Investigation +9, Perception +8, Sleight of Hand +15, Stealth +15; Feats: Lucky, Magic Initiate; Tool Proficiency: Thieves' Tools; Weapon Proficiency: Simple, Martial with light or finesse quality; Armor Proficiency: Light; Languages: Common, Draconic, Druidic, Sign, Thieves' Cant;  CR: 8 (3,900 XP); PB: +5

TRAITS
Cunning Strike: You may sacrifice up to two of your sneak attack dice to activate up to two of the following effects: Poison, Trip or Withdraw. Save DC18.
Devious Strike: You may sacrifice an appropriate number of your sneak attack dice to activate one of the following effects: Daze (2D6), Knockout (6D6) or Obscure (3D6).
Evasion: When you're subjected to an effect that allows you to make a DEX save to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on your save and only half damage if you fail. You can't use this feature if you have the incapacitated condition.
Heroic Inspiration: 
Magical Ambush: If you have the invisible condition when you cast a spell on a creature, it has disadvantage on any saves it makes against the spell on the same turn.
Resourceful: You gain Heroic Inspiration whenever you finish a Long Rest.
Sneak Attack: Once per turn, you can deal an extra 8D6 damage to one target you hit with an attack roll if you have advantage on your attack roll and you are using a weapon with the finesse or ranged quality. The extra damage type is the same as the weapon used. You don't need advantage on the attack roll if at least one of your allies is within 5 ft. of the target and doesn't have the incapacitated condition and you don't have disadvantage on the attack roll.
Versatile Trickster: You gain the ability to distract targets with your mage hand. When you use the Trip option from Cunning Strike on a target, you can also use that option on another creature within 5 ft. of the target.

ATTACK
Multiattack: You can make up to two attacks melee attacks, one with your shortsword (Scalpel) and the other with your dagger (Cat's Claw).
Shortsword (Scalpel): melee weapon attack (+11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D6+6 PLUS you have advantage on your next attack before the end of your next turn)
Dagger (Cat's Claw): melee weapon attack (+11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D4+1)

BONUS ACTION
Cunning Action: You can take one from the following actions: Dash, Disengage or Hide.
Mage Hand Legerdemain: Cast mage hand and make the spectral hand invisible. You can also control an active mage hand and make DEX (Sleight of Hand) check with it..
Steady Aim: Give yourself advantage on your next attack roll on your current turn. You can only use this feature if you haven't moved already this turn. Your Speed is 0 ft. for the rest of your current turn.

REACTION
Uncanny Dodge: When an attacker you can see hits you with an attack roll, you can halve the attack's damage against you (round down).

SPELLCASTING
Attribute: INT; Spell DC: 18; Spell Attack: +10; Prepared Spells: 10.
Cantrips: light, mage hand, mind sliver, prestidigitation
1st Level (4 slots): charm person, detect magic, disguise self, mage armor, shield
2nd Level (3 slots): darkvision, invisibility, locate object
3rd Level (2 slots): dispel magic, nondetection

WHAT I'M READING

 

I'm about the head down to Cape Cod this weekend for a library conference there the start of the week. So I'm looking to take down some reading for myself for during the downtime. Rudy's Red Wagon is a counter-cultural rhetoric that we had in our basement (for some reason?) when I was growing up. 

So I'm planning on re-reading it while there. I happen to have a M.A. in rhetorical theory, so this just happens to count as fun for me. (I seem to recall a section on the rhetoric of used car salesmen, that indirectly references Kenneth Burke's concept of identification as a rhetorical appeal.) Should be fun.

Grade: Rather quirky book that I really liked a lot growing up. Give it a B+.

Still working my way through L'incroyable histoire de la litterature français. I've now reached the 18th century and have just finished reading about Voltaire and am just starting out on Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Finding it a very useful book. Just purchased it for my Kindle.

Have put off Amélie Nothomb's Ni d'Eve ni d'Adam for now. Not a bad book, but it's development is a little slower, and I don't have the attention span to it right now. Will return to it later when I have less going on, less on my mind.

GIANTS IN THE EARTH -- ELRIC VIII OF MELNIBONÉ

 

ELRIC OF MELNIBONÉ
medium humanoid, chaotic evil;
fighter (eldritch knight) 20th level, background: noble

AC: 17 (mage armor); HP: 100 (20D10-20); Initiative: +4; Senses: darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 14; Speed: 30 ft.

STR: 08, DEX: 18, CON: 04, INT: 20, WIS: 18, CHA: 20

Saves: STR +5, DEX +10, CON +3; Immunities: charmed, frightened; Skills: Arcana +11, Athletics +5, History +11, Intimidation +11, Perception +10, Persuasion +11, Religion +11; Feats: Boon of Fortitude, Durable, Magic Initiate (Druid, Wizard), Resilient, Ritual Caster, Skilled, War Caster; Tool Proficiency: Alchemist's Supplies, Melnibonéan chess set;  Weapon Proficiency: Martial, Simple; Armor Proficiency: Heavy, Shield; Languages: Common, Low and High Melnibonéan; CR: 7 (2,900 XP); PB: +6

TRAITS
Action Surge (2/Short Rest): You can take one additional action, except for the Magic action.
Arcane Charge: When you use your Action Surge you can teleport up to 30 ft. to an unoccupied space you can see. You can teleport before or after the additional action.
Concentration: You have advantage on CON saves to maintain your concentration.
Durable: You have advantage of Death Saves.
Fighting Style: Dueling. 
Indomitable (3/Long Rest): You can reroll any save with a +20 bonus to the attempt. 
Resourceful: You gain Heroic Inspiration whenever you complete a Long Rest.
Somatic Components: You may cast spells with somatic components even when one or both of your hands are occupied with weapon or shield.
Studied Attacks: When you make an attack roll against a creature and miss, you have Advantage on your next attack roll against that creature before the end of your next turn.
Tactical Master: You can replace the Weapon Mastery description of any weapon with Push, Sap, or Slow.
Tactical Mind: When you fail an ability check, you can expend one use of your Second Wind ability to push yourself toward success. Rather than regaining HP, roll D10 and add the number rolled to your ability check, potentially turning it into a success. If the check still fails, this use of Second Wind isn't expended.
Tactical Shift: You can use one use of your Second Wind to move up to half your Speed without provoking opportunity attacks.
War Bond: You are bonded to Stormbringer. You can't be disarmed of it unless you have the incapacitated condition.
War Magic: You can replace up to two of your attacks with a cantrip of one action or less.

ACTIONS
Multiattack: You can make up to four Stormbringer attacks per turn.
Stormbringer: melee magic weapon attack (+8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D10+4 necrotic damage PLUS target has disadvantage on its next attack roll against you until the start of your next turn PLUS it has disadvantage on the next save it makes against a spell that you cast until the end of your next turn.)
Frightful Presence: Each creature within 10 ft. of you and aware of your presence must succeed on WIS save DC19 or become frightened until the end of your next turn. If the save succeeds, the target can't be frightened by you in this way for the next hour.

RING OF KINGS PROPERTIES
Elemental Command: As per the ring of the same name.
Spell Storing: You can store up to five levels of prepared spells in it.

STORMBRINGER PROPERTIES
Devour Soul: When you reduce a non-construct, non-undead creature to 0 HP, you gain their maximum HP as temporary HP for the next 24 hours. Advantage on all attacks, saves, and ability checks for same period.
Haste (1/day): As per spell of that name.

BONUS ACTIONS
Durable: Spend one of your HD to recover D10 HP.
Potion of Heroism: You gain 10 temporary HP. You gain the benefits of the heroism spell.
Second Wind (special, maximum 4): You regain HP equal to D10+20.
War Bond: If you are on the same plane of existence as Stormbringer, you can summon it to you, causing it to teleport instantly to your hand.

REACTION
Reactive Spell: When you make an opportunity attack, you may cast a spell at the creature rather than attack with a weapon. The spell must have a casting time of one action or less and must target only that creature.

SPELLCASTING
Attribute: INT; Spell DC: 19; Spell Attack: +11; Prepared Spells: 13*
Always Prepared (cast for free, once/Long Rest): detect magic, detect poison and disease, illusory script, identify, mage armor, protection from evil and good, purify food and drink, Tenser's floating disc, unseen servant
Cantrips: chill touch, elementalism, message, mind sliver, prestidigitation, produce flame, resistance
1st Level (4 slots): charm person, comprehend languages, shield, sleep
2nd Level (3 slots): arcane vigor, enhance ability, locate object, suggestion
3rd Level (3 slots): counterspell, dispel magic, tongues, water breathing
4th Level (1 slot): conjure minor elementals

Adapted from original printing of 1E Deities & Demigods.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!

 

May is an auspicious month for myself and for Star Wars in general. George Lucas and I share a birthday, which is today, May 14. And the original release of Star Wars was May 25.

Both are better candidates for Star Wars Day than May 4. ("May the Fourth be with you" indeed!). 

Happy 81st birthday, George!

ORELSAN - BASIQUE

 

Through exposure, I have become something of a fan of French rap. I like its variety, inventiveness and social commentary. A few years back, when I was taking some French courses at Tufts, I came across this video. It piqued my interest, so I took a chance on buying the album, La fête est finie. It has turned out to be one of my all-time favorite French albums, I love every track on it. So here we go, the video that started it all. Enjoy!

Orelsan = Aurélien Contentin

L.E.J. - PAS L'TIME

 

This high-energy, frenetic tune is from their second album Pas Peur. I discovered it shortly before the album dropped on Youtube. What I especially like about it is that it is somewhat goofy and highly infectious. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

GIANTS IN THE EARTH - HAROLD SHEA FROM THE COMPLEAT ENCHANTER

 

HAROLD SHEA
medium humanoid (human), chaotic good

rogue 8th (arcane trickster); background: scribe

AC: 16 (mage armor); HD: 64 (8D8+24); Initiative: +4; Senses: passive Perception 16; Speed: 30 ft.

STR: 13, DEX: 19, CON: 17, INT: 18, WIS: 16, CHA: 16

Saves: DEX +6, INT +7; Skills: Athletics +4, Insight +9, Investigation +7, Perception +6, Persuasion +6, Sleight of Hand +7; Feats: Actor, Defensive Duelist, Lucky, Skilled; Tool Proficiency: Calligrapher's Supplies, Thieves' Tools; Weapon Proficiency: simple, martial with finesse or light properties; Armor Proficiency: light; Languages: English, French, Greek, Latin, Thieves' Cant; CR: 2 (450 XP); PB: +3

TRAITS

Cunning Strike: When you deal Sneak Attack damage, you may reduce your sneak attack damage by one die to include one of the following features to your attack: poison, trip or withdraw.

Evasion: When you're subject to an effect that allows you to make a DEX save to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on the Save and only half damage if you failed. You can't use this feature if you have the incapacitated condition.

Impersonation: While you're disguised as a real or fictional person, you have advantage on CHA (Deception or Performance) checks to convince others that you are that person.

Lucky: You have 3 Luck points and can spend them on one of the following benefits: advantage on a D20 test OR disadvantage for you opponent on a D20 test.

Mimicry: You can mimic the sounds of other creatures, including speech. A creature that hears your mimicry must succeed on a WIS (Insight) check DC14 to determine the effect is faked.

Reliable Talent: Whenever you make an ability check that uses one of your skill or tool proficiencies, you can treat a D20 roll of 9 or less as an actual 10.

Sneak Attack: Once per turn, you can deal an extra 4D6 to one target you hit with an attack roll if you have advantage on it and the attack uses a finesse or ranged weapon. You don't need advantage on the attack roll if at least one of your allies is within 5 ft. of the target and doesn't have the incapacitated condition, provided also that you don't already have disadvantage of the attack roll.

Syllogismobile: Cast plane shift as a ritual. Requires V, S and M components. Spell is subject to failure. Use the mishap table from the teleport spell to adjudicate results.

ACTIONS

Shortsword: melee weapon attack (+7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D6+4 piercing damage PLUS advantage on your next attack roll against the same target)

Dagger: melee weapon attack (+7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D4 piercing damage when used as part of standard attack with shortsword OR D4+4 when used by itself)

BONUS ACTIONS

Cunning Action: On your turn, you can take one of the following actions as a bonus action: Dash, Disengage or Hide.

Steady Aim: You can give yourself advantage on your next attack roll on the current turn. You can use this feature only if you haven't moved during this turn, and after you use it, your Speed is 0 until the end of your current turn.

Uncanny Dodge: When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack roll, you can halve the attack's damage against you.

REACTIONS

Parry: If you are holding a finesse weapon and another creature hits you with a melee attack, you can add +3 to your AC, potentially causing the attack to miss you. Your bonus to AC against melee attacks lasts until the start of your next turn.

SPELLCASTING    

Ability: INT; Spell DC: 15; Spell Attack: +7; Prepared Spells: 6.

Cantrips: light, mage hand, mending, message, prestidigitation, true strike

1st Level (4 slots): comprehend languages, detect magic, illusory script, mage armor

2nd Level (2 slots): augury, suggestion

Nota Bene: The real world languages have analogs in my omniverse: English (Common), French (Averoignèse), Greek (Koine), and Latin (Vulgate). Fluency in analog language may not exceed proficient from the start. If using my homebrew language rules, add Italian (TBD) at proficient and Sign at familiar.

DESCRIPTION

Harold She served for many years as a staff psychologist at an psychiatric institute in Ohio. Although reasonably competent in this position, he felt unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Basically a romantic by nature, he compensated for his unexciting life by taking on rather affected roles and dress, much to the amusement of his friends and co-workers. His chance to escape everyday life came when an older scientist, Reed Chalmers, developed his theory of inter-universal apportation based on the mathematical field of symbolic logic. Harold wasted no time putting the theory into practice and succeeded in dumping himself into the center of Norse mythology. Since then, he has had several adventures in the worlds of myth and fantasy.

Adapted from Dragon magazine #59.

KING CRIMSON - ISLANDS (1971)

 

For a long time, this was my fifth King Crimson album. Mostly on the strength of three phenomenal tracks on this album. Of course, as I've recently posted, Lizard has recently edged it out.

When I listen to it, I hear a profound debt to Bela Bartok, an acknowledged influence on Robert Fripp. It is darkly, baroque in its soundscape. The three tracks are "Sailor's Tale," "Ladies of the Road" and the title track "Islands."

This is the third entirely new lineup for the band, featuring:

Robert Fripp: electric and acoustic guitars, mellotron, organ and devices.
Boz Burrell: bass, lead vocal.
Mel Collins: saxophone, flute, backing vocals.
Ian Wallace: drums, percussion, backing vocals.
Pete Sinfield: lyrics.

Boz Burrell would later go on to play bass for Bad Company. Fripp reputedly taught him to play bass, when they hired him on to sing lead vocals.

Additional musicians include:

Harry Miller: double bass.
Keith Tippett: piano.
Robert Miller: oboe.
Mark Charig: cornet.
Wilf Gibson: violin.
Paulina Lucas: soprano.

Formentera Lady (10:18)
Hate to say it, but the song itself is somewhat forgettable. Not bad, but not something that necessarily sticks with you. Still it sets that darkly classical feel defining this album.

Sailor's Tale (7:29)
This is one of those great King Crimson instrumentals that defines them as a band. I've read someone describe the King Crimson/Robert Fripp aesthetic as an exploration and synthesis of order and chaos in music. That's what this instrumental is. This song is a frantic jam notable for its driving, insistent drum tattoo, blaring sax and screeching, yet musical, guitar drone.

Letters (4:28)
This is a rinse-and-repeat of "Formentera Lady." Of some interest, but largely forgettable.

Ladies of the Road (5:31)
This is the only really blues-influenced track you will find in the King Crimson catalog. Uncharacteristic of Robert Fripp, but inspired. It's King Crimson's "Squeezebox" or "Fat Bottom Girls," something of a dirty musical joke. The subject of the song is the groupies that follow bands and how they throw themselves at the band and get used.

        Two-fingered levi-ed sister
        Said "Peace," I stopped and kissed her.
        Said "I'm a male resister."
        I smiled and just unzipped her.

Of course, the song is probably problematic now. But it's still a song that has groove -with its bluesy guitar and raunchy sax

Prelude: Song of Gulls (4:14)
Basically a string quartet composition with flute. Nothing more.

Islands (11:51)
A sweet, mournful song. One of King Crimson's characteristic showpieces. A lyrical passage followed with a complex, significantly developed instrumental coda which turns out to be the heart of the song itself. The lyrics take a turn at the John Donne conceit implicit in his poem Meditation XVII: "No man is an island."

        Earth, stream and tree encircled by sea
        Waves sweep the sand from my island.
        My sunsets fade.
        Field and glade wait only for rain.
        Grain after grain erodes my
        High-weathered walls which fend off the tide,
        Cradle the wind
        To my island.

        . . .

        Beneath the wind-turned waves
        Infinite peace
        Islands join hands
        'Neath heaven's sea.

The instrumental is an ecstatic and melancholic jam between Charig's brilliant cornet, Miller's contemplative oboe, and Tippett's jazzy, yet restrained piano. Sublime.

Grade: As I said, this album was my fifth KC album for quite some time. But on the strength of just three tracks. Given that, I think I actually have to give it a B-.

ELENOIN (MEDIUM MONSTROSITY CR 06) and GRAHLUK (LARGE MONSTROSITY CR 05)

 

ELENOIN

medium monstrosity, chaotic evil

AC: 14; HP: 99 (11D8+44); Initiative: +4; Senses: passive Perception 10; Speed: 30 ft.

STR: 18, DEX: 18, CON: 18, CHA: 14

Immunities: fear and any mind-altering magic; Languages: common; CR: 6 (2,300 XP); PB: +3

TRAITS
Magic Resistance: It has advantage on Saves versus spells and spell-like effects.

ACTIONS
Multiattack: It can make up to two greatsword attacks.
Bite: melee natural attack (+7 to hit, reach 5 ft. one target. Hit: D6+6)
Greatsword: melee weapon attack (+7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D10+6)

GRAHLUK
large monstrosity, chaotic neutral

AC: 16; HP: 100 (10D10+40); Initiative: +2; Senses: passive Perception 10; Speed: 60 ft.

STR: 22, DEX: 14, CON: 18; INT: 08

Languages: common; CR: 7 (2,900 XP); PB: +3

TRAITS
Magic Resistance: It has advantage on Saves versus spells and spell-like effects.

ACTIONS
Rend: melee natural attack (+14 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit 2D6+11 bludgeoning damage)
Rope: melee weapon attack (+14 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 3D6+11 bludgeoning damage PLUS automatic grapple attempt)

These Melnibonéan monsters are brought to you courtesy of the original first-edition printing of the AD&D Deities & Demigods guide. The Elenoin appear as tall (6 ft.) wild-eyed women with flaming reds hir and shark-like teeth. They whirl two-handed swords and fear no enemy save the ancient foe, the Grahluks, who also hail from their home plane. The Grahluks are their mortal enemy. They appear as devolved, giant ape-like humanoids and armed with rope and shield. Their only goal in life is the death and destruction of the Elenoin race.

FOOTBALL SCORIGAMI

 

Scorigami is a term invented by Secret Base's Jon Bois to describe the phenomenon of an entirely new final score in the history of a sport. It is a portmanteau of the words "score" and "origami" and most generally and specifically applies to American football due to its nonlinear scoring and what I would describe as the "chunki-ness" of their composition.

In American football, the most frequent scoring plays (in order of points, not their frequency) are defensive safety - 2 points, field goal - 3 points, touchdown with no conversion - 6 points, touchdown with extra point - 7 points, and touchdown with two-point coversion - 8 points. But most frequently in intervals of 3 and 7 points. Which leads to both some very rare and impossible final scores available.

Finding those combinations became something of a past-time for me when I played Madden Football with cheats. Could I come up with a legal scoring combo that would yield my actual final scores?

CHRISTOPHE MAÉ - JE SUIS TOMBÉ SOUS LE CHARME

 

Christophe Maé (né Martichon) is a singer-songwriter from the south of France. He cites as a main musical influence, Stevie Wonder, whose music he discovered when he was bed-ridden from an injury in his teens. Because of Stevie Wonder, he applied himself to learning how to play the harmonica, an instrument he continues to use extensively in his music. He has also cited Bob Marley -- and I suspect, Marvin Gaye. He made a name for himself on the stage in the musical Le Roi Soleil. After which, he started his career as a recording artist.

This track is from his album Je veux du bonheur, an album that is clearly influenced by the musical geography of the United States, blending New Orleans jazz, country, and rhythm & blues. Enjoy!

THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING: WINGED MONKEY TACTICS

 

I'm a fan of Keith Ammann's books. With an engaging voice and style, he analyzes monsters to arrive at what should be their optimal battle tactics, based on their stats and their lore.

I'll review his books at a later date. I include this background to set up what I want to do with this series. Take monsters that I've created to highlight how best to run them during an encounter.

I'm going to start with my winged monkeys series, not only because it's now complete, but also because their tactics do differ according to which type you're running in an encounter.

Moving from least to most:

Winged Squirrel Monkeys: This one is easy. These monkeys are primarily the missile troops of the bunch. They have a high DEX, low HP, and multiattack with thrown objects. They should only use their rend attack if grounded and without ammunition to throw. In other words, as their very last resort. At least one monkey per turn should spend its action summoning more winged monkeys. 

Winged Howler Monkeys: They are marginally stronger than their squirrel monkey cousins, and their only multiattack option is to rend. Their flyby attack ability makes this even more feasible and desirable, in that they can swoop in from 30 ft. away, attack, and retreat back another 30 ft. away. If there are more than two howler monkeys available, one should screech to deafen their opponents and the other should summon more monkeys. Another tactic that may prove useful is for them to grapple an opponent, fly upwards their remaining movement to then drop their opponent and inflict falling damage.

Winged Baboons: Even more so than the howler monkeys, based on their strength and ferocity, melee attacks should be their main and only strategy. Flyby attacks and grapple-and-drop attacks should be their go-to.

Now a word about the Monkey See, Monkey Do ability. If they are up against spell-casters, this should be a viable action for at least one monkey per turn after a spell is cast. They have to take an action, and it is possible to fail at it, since it requires an INT save versus the original DC of the spell. Since they have average INT, this means that at best in most cases, there is a 50-50 chance of success. Using this ability some should cause spellcasters to have second thoughts about what spells they cast and how they do it. 

King of the Winged Monkeys: This is the boss monster for the group. While it is a formidable opponent on its own, it should be even more effective as a battlefield commander. The very first thing it should do is to summon its swarm of 3D4 winged monkeys (the DM can decide whether to choose which groups appear or can determine it randomly), then should ideally rally its troops on subsequent rounds. Because of its higher INT and ability to channel up to 3rd level spells (like, say, oh, fireball), whenever such a spell is cast, it should forego its other options to cast the same spell back via its Monkey See, Monkey Do ability.

SPRING CLEANING: MONSTER STATS

 

In the course of finishing up my Winged Monkey series, I have decided to review and revise my already created monster stats: fixing mathematical mistakes, improving their traits and action economy, plus re-calculating their CRs.

CHANGELOG
Where I note significant changes I've made:

• Flard: Removed its vulnerability to fire inherited from the source description, as I found it silly. Also moved the legend lore action into its standard action economy.
• Gabriel Beast: changed how the mirror gaze trait works. Instead of inflicting automatic failure on saves for the target, I've changed it to be disadvantage on those saves. Because I don't like robbing players of agency -- Disadvantage, yes. Automatic failure, no.
• Grahluk: Upgraded CON to 18. Increased CR to 7.
• King of the Winged Monkeys: Tweaked its summon winged monkey allies from D8 to 3D4. For three reasons: (1) made it to be multiple dice to increase the minimum number of allies summoned to better reflect its leadership ability, (2) from D8 to 2D4 to give the DM the option of summoning mixed groups of monkey allies, and (3) from 2D4 to 3D4 to mirror the three types of monkey allies available.
• Zeppelid: Eliminate Pellin from the name, though it is Lew Pulsipher's name for the creature. This is what it's called on Ravnica, which is primarily where it will be used. Also thinking about simplifying the age chart to include only even HD creatures.

NEXT STEP
I'm planning on introducing a new Monsters Know What They're Doing section based on the book of the same name by Keith Amman, starting the series out with strategy and tactics for my winged monkeys.

WINGED BABOON (MEDIUM MONSTROSITY CR 01)

 

To round out my winged monkey entries derived from Andrew Kolb's Oz: A Fantasy RPG.

medium monstrosity, neutral

AC: 12; HP: 21 (3D8+6); Initiative: +2; Senses: passive Perception 14; Speed: 30 ft., climb 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

STR: 14, DEX: 14, CON: 14, WIS: 14

Skills: Athletics +4, Perception +4, Stealth +4; Vulnerabilities: electrical and weather-based attacks; Language: Common; CR: 01 (200 XP); PB: +2

TRAITS
Flyby Attack: It doesn't provoke an attack of opportunity when it flies out of its opponent's reach.
Fury: It has advantage on all STR ability checks or saves and adds +2 to hit and +2 damage on its melee attacks.
Lift: Treat them as Large for determining their carrying capacity.
Monkey See, Monkey Do: It can mimic any spell up to 2nd-level it sees performed, including cantrips. To perform this action on its next opportunity to act accordingly, it must make an INT save versus the DC of the original spell.

ACTIONS
Multiattack: It can make up to two rend attacks.
Rend: melee natural attack (+6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D6+4 slashing damage)
Throw Object: ranged weapon attack (+4 to hit, ranged 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: D4+2 bludgeoning damage)
Screech: CON save DC10, radius 60 ft. Failure: deafened for 1 minute.)
Summon Winged Monkey Allies (1/Long Rest): Summon D4 winged baboons. Summoned baboons may not do likewise in the same encounter.

WINGED SQUIRREL MONKEY (SMALL MONSTROSITY CR 1/2)

 

small monstrosity, neutral

AC: 14; HP: 12 (3D6); Initiative: +4; Senses: passive Perception 14; Speed: 30 ft., climb 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

DEX: 18, WIS: 14

Skills: Acrobatics +6, Perception +4, Stealth +6; Vulnerabilities: electrical and weather-based attacks; Language: Common; CR: 1/2 (100 XP); PB: +2

TRAITS
Flyby Attack: It doesn't provoke an attack of opportunity when it flies out of its opponent's reach.
Lift: Treat them as Medium for determining their carrying ability.
Monkey See, Monkey Do: It can mimic any spell up to 1st-level it sees performed, including cantrips. To perform this action on its next opportunity to act accordingly, it must make an INT save versus the DC of the original spell.

ACTIONS
Multiattack: It can make up to two rend attacks OR it can make two throw object attacks.
Rend: melee natural attack (+2 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D4 slashing damage)
Throw Object: ranged weapon attack (+6 to hit, ranged 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: D4+4 bludgeoning damage)
Summon Winged Monkey Allies (1/Long Rest): Summon D4 winged squirrel monkeys. Summoned winged monkeys may not do likewise in the same encounter.

KING OF THE WINGED MONKEYS (MEDIUM MONSTROSITY CR 02)

 

medium monstrosity, neutral

AC: 15; HP: 35 (7D8); Initiative: +5; Senses: passive Perception 16; Speed: 30 ft. climb 30 ft., fly 60 ft.

STR: 16, DEX: 20, INT: 14, WIS: 18

Skills: Acrobatics +7, Insight +6, Perception +6, Stealth +7; Vulnerabilities: electrical and weather-based attacks; Language: Common; CR: 02 (450 XP); PB: +2

TRAITS
Flyby Attack: It doesn't provoke an attack of opportunity when it flies out of its opponent's reach.
Lift: Treat it as Large for determining its carrying capacity.
Monkey See, Monkey Do: It can mimic any spell up to 3rd-level it sees performed, including cantrips. To perform this action on its next opportunity to act accordingly, it must make an INT save versus the DC of the original spell.

ACTIONS
Multiattack: It can make up to two rend attacks.
Rend: melee natural attack (+5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: D6+3 slashing damage)
Throw Object: ranged weapon attack (+7 to hit, ranged 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: D4+5 bludgeoning damage)
Rally: All winged monkeys that can hear it have Advantage on their attacks until the end of the King's next turn.
Screech: CON save DC10, radius 60 ft. Failure deafened for 1 minute.
Summon Winged Monkey Allies (1/Long Rest): Summon 3D4 winged monkeys of any type. Summoned winged monkeys may not do likewise in the same encounter.

FLARD (GARGANTUAN CONSTRUCT CR 12)

  

gargantuan construct, lawful neutral

AC: 25 (natural armor), HP: 252 (12D20+120), Senses: truesight 120 ft., passive Perception 28, Speed: 0 ft.

STR: --, DEX: --, CON: 30, INT: 30, WIS: 30, CHA: 20

Skills: Insight +18, Knowledge skills (any) +18, Perception +18, Persuasion +9; Resistances: cold; Immunities: sleep and any mind-affecting spells; Languages: broadcast telepathy, all; CR: 12 (8,400 XP); PB: +4.

TRAITS
Legendary Resistance (3/day): If it fails a save, it can choose to expend one of its uses of this ability to succeed instead.
Internal Storage: It stores its treasure within itself. Any magic items it has stored within can be readily used. It can ignore all restrictions pertaining to the magic item in question.
Magic Resistance: It automatically has advantage on saves versus spells and spell-like effects.
Regeneration: It regenerates 10 HP at the start of its turn.

ACTIONS
Cone of Cold (at will): as per spell description.
Frightful Presence: Each creature of the Flard's choice that is within 120 ft. of it and aware of it must make a WIS Save DC22 or become frightened for 1 minute. The creature can repeat its save at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on a success. If the creature's save is successful or the effect ends for it, the creature is immune to this effect for the next 24 hours.
Legend Lore: Cast any Divination spell.

LEGENDARY ACTIONS
Uses: 3. Immediately after another creature's turn, it can expend a use to use any of tits standard actions. It regains all expended uses at the start of each of its turns.

DESIGN NOTES / LORE
The Flard is one of the planar monsters detailed in the Dragon magazine #47. 

They appear as towering pillars of pure white marble with richly veined, pink streaks throughout. They have finite length and width, but infinite height. They are only ever encountered as individuals, and mostly on planes that are strongly lawfully-aligned. They were presumably created by a now-extinct race of humanoids for the sole purpose of answering impossible questions. They are extremely old and spend most of their time dormant, quietly gathering information. Each Flard has a specific name which can be used to trigger it awake when spoken.

Discovering a Flard name requires systematic, methodical research of the rarest and most ancient of texts. When the party speaks the Flard's name, it will awaken and will answer exactly one question with 100% accuracy. It will then sleep for another one thousand years. It cannot go back to sleep once they have been awakened unless they are first asked a question. When defeated, its treasure hoard can be accessed through a secret door found somewhere along its base.

KING CRIMSON - LIZARD (1970)

 

As I mentioned before, there is general consensus among King Crimson fans about which four albums are classic and the top-tier albums. (However, I find as there are newer, younger fans coming to King Crimson this is something a little less settled than before.)

But I also indicated that my hypothetical fifth album shifts according to my present mood. For the past few months, it has been this album, Lizard. It is their third album, the follow-up to In the Wake of Poseidon, and the first full lineup change in their recording history.

I've always liked this album. Even when it was much less popular than it is today. I like the medieval folk cover art, its super jazzy compositions, but most importantly, for its epic jam, the title track, Lizard.

The core lineup for this album is:

Robert Fripp: guitars, mellotron, organ, and devices.
Mel Collins: saxophone, flute.
Gordon Haskell: bass, lead vocal.
Andy McCulloch: drums.
Pete Sinfield: lyrics.

With additional performers listed as:

Keith Tippett: piano.
Robin Miller: oboe, English horn.
Mark Charig: cornet.
Nick Evans: trombone.
Jon Anderson: lead vocal on "Lizard."

The recording and production of this album was tempestuous. Until recently, it was the album that Robert Fripp hated because of the experience. He has since softened his opinion of it and admitted that it is worthy after all. But the experience sundered his lifelong friendship with his mate, Gordon Haskell.

Lyrically, I think, this is Pete Sinfield's best work in the field of psychedelic wordplay. I like very much the first three tracks, but I will admit that they tend to blend together some for me. I like their jazzy vibe, and the lyrics (as I said), but they really feel like one song for me.

Cirkus (6:27) -- Indoor Games (5:37) -- Happy Family (4:22)

Then there's Lady of the Dancing Water (2:47), a sweet pastoral composition.

But for me the prize of this album is its last track, the title track:

Lizard and Bolero (23:25)

The track starts out as an oddly, out-of-joint song about . . . what? Well, there are some Shakespearean references to Polonius and some MND fairies, Prince Rupert, almost middle-eastern references to maybe Persian courts? I dunno. And, yes, Lizards . . . presumably lots of lizards. As with most of the King Crimson corpus to-date, until Larks' Tongues in Aspic, the lyrics really aren't the point.

Musically, there's Jon Anderson's falsetto vocals at which he excels. Some lush orchestration and then, boom . . . the Bolero. Like with Starless, the lyrical section exists to set up the extended instrumental section that follows. 

What we get is a long, jam session with exposition and cyclical development: notable for its instrumentation -- oboe, cornet and trombone accompanied by jangly, jazz piano throughout. It's a composition that, though rather long, you end up wishing it would never end. Superb!

Grade: Definitely like this album. As I said, a strong candidate for fifth album, let me call it as a B+.

MEMORIES OF ME (1988)

 

On my drive in to work this morning, I was thinking about contemporary comedies I like. Memories of Me is one of my favorite comedies, something of a sui generis, what I would call the male "tear jerker." (So, yes, it's a little melodramatic.)

It's the story about a New York trumpet-playing cardiac surgeon named Abbie and his attempt to mend his relationship with his estranged father Abe, who lives in Hollywood and works as a film extra and who has been a personal embarrassment to him his whole life.

Ironically, he himself has a cardiac arrest of his own while doing open heart surgery. This near-death experience is the motivating factor for him flying to California to visit his father to try to patch things up.

The plot itself is fairly conventional. They fight and argue, make up, and the story ends with Abe's death. What makes this work is the characters involved and the detail work in setting up the situation and scenes. (The humor is very Yiddish, which I like.) Abe is not just an extra, he is the King of the Extras. From time to time, he "loses his geography" and starts reciting the speech from Inherit the Wind. His apartment has black-and-white photos from classic films with arrows drawn on them with the note me written alongside. Plus the origin of the courtroom wullah-wullah and other comedic gems.

The highlight of the film for me, the reason -- for which if there is no other reason why to watch this movie, this is it -- the mariachi Hava Nagila and hora. Truly touching and funny! And if you're not sobbing when Abe dies at the end -- well then, I submit that there's something wrong with you.

The movie stars Billy Crystal and Alan King (whom I discovered on TV in the 70s when he did his End of the World and his Second Annual End of the World specials), and is directed by Henry Winkler. BTW, it also features a cameo by Sean Connery while he was filming the Presidio, presumably on the same lot.

Grade: I absolutely adore this movie. It is one of my all-time favorite films. Perfect A+.

NEW! DIALECT: LANGUAGE CREATION BOARDGAME

 

Dialect is a language-creation game that I came across as a recommendation while reading the Arcane Eye D&D blog. It is one of three language-themed games put out by Thorny Games. By chance, I came across it at one of the vendor tables at Rising Phoenix and scored two copies of it, one for myself and the other for my brother. (Also, I briefly blogged about it in this post.)

Now that I own a copy, I can definitely say more about it!

The key ingredients in playing Dialect is the environment (isolation and situation), player roles, and words / concepts to be linguistically evolved. Cards are used to generate concepts that the group will brainstorm and refine new vocabulary for. The new vocabulary becomes used in roleplaying dialogues between the players. Consider the dialogues as something like road-testing your language and is what gives the dialect its "lived-in" feel. Each turn around the table represents an Age of Language Creation: Isolation - Foreshadowing - Reintegration - Legacy. 

That's the game in a nutshell. However, there is more to the rules than just that. There are specific explanations of processes / types of word change and how to apply them in-game to the words / concepts you are working with. There are a number of specific Isolations provided: 

Outpost (Martian Colony), Sanctuary Island (Plague), Czaten Dacha (Migrants), Worcester School (Boarding School), Wolf Pack (Feral), 2081: Solar Slums (Cyberpunk), Protecting Ones (Environment), Forbidden Children (Discarded Orphans), Velayuthapurm Tamil Nadu 2006 (Untouchables), Beyond the Village (Bohemians), Self-Actualization Project (Digital Community), Toybox Tales (Toy Story)

But also guidelines for designing your Isolations for cooperative play. I can't wait to put together a sufficiently large group to play the game. Grade: I love the idea of this game! Solid A.

L'INCROYABLE HISTOIRE DE LA LITTERATURE FRANÇAISE (B.-D.)

 

We recently started a French language literature collection at our library, for which I am the buyer. (We have a growing population of Haitians in Marl-borough, for whom French is their principal language after Creole.)

For my trip to Virginia this weekend, I checked out two books from the collection: Ni d'Éve ni d'Adam by Amélie Nothomb (which I'm halfway through) and this one. 

It starts out with Rabelais and ends with Marguerite Duras. I've just finished reading through the Sixteenth Century and have just started reading through the Seventeenth.

It's a genre I'm really rather fond of -- the informative graphic novel. Each section in it is a biography of an iconic French author with brief synopses of their major works. Many of them are very familiar from my French Lit courses, but others I confess I know only bu reputation. A truly useful primer on the subject: Grade: I like it and give it a B+.

CHARACTER BACK-STORIES IN D&D

This is a touchy subject, I know. But I'm going to go on the record with it. I'm not a huge fan of the lengthy, highly detailed character back story. There are players and DMs who advocate that players should write them up so that the DM and player have hooks to motivate the character and the ensuing action.

However, I believe in practice their function is entirely opposite than what is intended. First of all, as a DM, I don't want to read them. I have enough text to read and too many things to manage to read a novella you've write about your character. Second, RPGs are collaborative storytelling games that involve both the player and the DM shaping the character through actual gameplay. Background narrative is the player version of railroading the DM. I want the adventure of you and I learning about your character as they develop from actual role play. (Never mind, the annoying aspect of a player saying to the others something along the lines of "If you knew / read my character's back story, you'd realize that . . . .)

Now I'm not saying starting out the campaign as a character with absolutely no back story. Yes, as a DM, I do want some plot hooks and something about your character's past to excite you and to motivate you going forward. No, what I object to is the level of detail involved and the sense that your character's nature is written in stone. No, what I want and what I'd appreciate is a handful of written bullet points about your character -- medium- to low- detail that describe your character. At a level that I can encompass the relevant facts and from which I can imaginatively improvise hooks and from which you can then proceed from to define your character further through actual gameplay.

Now this may be a stylistic preference on my side. Or it may be game design philosophy. YMMV. But it's my experiene and my feeling on the subject.

WIZARDS (1977)

 

Let me just start out by saying, this is a weird film. Very much of the zeitgeist of the late 1970s, early 80s. It is a post-apocalyptic story about the struggle between nature / magic and science / technology. (You can probably guess which one is supposed to be the bad guy here.)

The story is actually pretty slim. The animation is rather uneven. When it's good, it's good. When it ain't, it just ain't. And yet . . . .

It's funny. The characters are well-rendered with personality. Again, the humor is fantastic ("They killed Fritz! They killed Fritz!") And however crudely it was made, it just fires the imagination in all sorts of really creative ways.

Grade: Because of its flaws, I can't really say I love it. But it is a movie that greatly occupies my imagination, and thus its influence gives it the edge. I do indeed like it and give it a B-.